Celebrities don’t BOSU!


Quasi-Inclusive Gym … [the one with that “Stop” emoticon + a Hand Logo – its real identity co-incidental to this blog post] … and, like upscalegymfullofyoungpeople.com, it too is full of young people (and it is, actually, super-upscale–we are no longer talking about the mid-market–which, in my world of job instability and expensive rent, is still upscale and expensive to ME … BUT at a price point actually somewhat above the one that’s around that of the IHRSA bunch …] and I guested at it.   I had been a member of upscalegymfullofyoungpeople.com, at the age of 52, for about 13 months.  When I’d told the guy who gave me a tour, he REALLY liked THAT news; even though he mostly tries to get in those people who’ll spring for personal training.  I did – twice – but I’d felt under duress the second time; never at a gym.  At a yoga studio; wherein it was called “private session”.  Long story.  Suffice to say, I do NOT take yoga at that studio anymore.  I know there is a yoga teacher there, who’d seen me.  I’d returned to take cardio dance there for a while.  I know that she gives a kirtan.  She’d wanted me to try her yoga class (All Levels).  There was a more Iyengar-oriented yoga teacher who’d wanted me to take her class.  I do not have FOMO about any of those classes.  Absolutely NO Yoga there.

Short-duration guest pass, this is why I’m free to blog.  Even at the illustrious WordPress, that gets exposure … sosueme … I was already threatened to be sued by the yoga studio.  What bluffers!

So, nature must abhor a vacuum. Not too frequently is a guest gymster (who looks like he/she knows what they’re doing) approached by a personal trainer trolling for new clients in this slow, uncrowded; everybody-who-is-anybody-is out-of-town or over at The Open, period.   Or working too damn hard.

This time, I think the reasons I was NOT approached are more obvious. For one, I look intimidatingly gaunt/so not-young/so not well-heeled. I am now quite hollow-cheeked, with a wasted-away look that does not fit my medium frame. For another, seeming cardio queen (however feebly motivated at any one time)–is not usually approached by a personal trainer.

You see, my feet are in such uncorrectable shape (due to surgery being non-indicated because I was 43 at the time of poddo diagnosis) that I now do BOSU aerobics where Step Aerobics used to reside … Even on a very highy inflated BOttomSideUp ball (on the dome side, of course). The personal trainers milling around use BOSU balls with their clients … a LOT, but with the flat side up. They did not look particularly inspired in their offerings… not like the military-style drill sergeant personal trainers I vaguely remember from upscalegymfullofyoungpeople.com …

But remember, this super-upscale gym guns for the more aesthetically driven repeat business and not the burnout, killer, 6 weeks-to-the-wedding bunch. Their charges are obviously frequent-fliers and are seemingly quite motivated (and young, physically attractive, ideal BMI/body composition)… I learned from my experience as a yoga studio fairly regular attendee, that you treat the high-value customers with kid gloves (I had not been one of them and I had felt bullied.  Yup, panned then on Yelp at first; and on everybody’s yoga blog and on my former blogsite – identity until near the very end, thoroughly disguised – and will never return there for a yoga class. I will never experience a kirtan there. I will never know yoga from those  teacher who’d wanted me in their respective class. It hurts even them, in the long run but not for reasons one might think …It hurt me plenty.  I’d fought back until I decided life’s a little too short for that.).

Anyway, a digression. Back to the main topic at hand.  Overall, the vibe at Quasi-Inclusive was different. The music was loads better. (I own no iPods).   Not hipster or hip-hop. Nearly perfect for my workout. If the BPM got too fast, I trained flexibility and worked in some intervals before doing arabesques, chassees, or kicks while one foot was on the dome’s top.

I saw some gal doing YogaBoxing in the vacated studio where a boxing of some sort class usually was … She shortly got dressed thereafter (while I was gearing up for another short round in locker room) and practically sailed out of that gym. Looking like the celebrity reporter whose workout she probably just imitated, such as Koga as in http://www.itsallyogababy.com/editor-of-the-nation-gives-up-yoga-for-kickboxing-in-order-to-kick-some-republican-ass/

But me? I was nobody to be messed with.

I had not been approached by any personal trainer, per se; but by a licensed nutrition specialist, trolling for clients.

Can’t win. Had a lengthy discussion with him.  You know, my diabetes, my other concerns, my carbophobia eating disorder (right now), that a contemporary now struggling with diabetes himself, mistook for  … “You’ve gotta tell me your DIET!”

I was not seen doing the workout that celebrities don’t do, by this nutrition guy.   My fancy stepping on a BOSU would have not made me seem such the easy mark he may have sensed me to be.


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